If there is a moment when everything changes, including who you are — this would be it.

I am cuddling my naked baby and the skin to skin is the ultimate high. There is no feeling of missing out because I can’t drink because of breastfeeding and I’m not crying because there’s been no sleep. It’s pure relaxation, contentment and the awareness to take it all in; I think I’m in love.

Having a baby is undoubtedly everything they say and more. I had heard different things about your emotions directly after you give birth; Will you look into your child’s eyes and everything will change instantly? Or will you need a few days to take it all in? Will the role of mother become all-consuming giving you purpose like no other or will motherhood blend in with the other roles and become rather another piece of you? I read many times that as the child is born so is the mother, and for many women, this is a rebirth entirely.

My memory holds two images; the final push and leaning back holding him; Pain and love. If there is a moment when everything changes — this would be it.

We had an all natural birth, and my son and I were given as much time as we needed to work together for safe delivery. He came out and was laid on the floor where moments later I scooped him up into my arms with my partner embracing us both. My memory holds two images; the final push and leaning back holding him; Pain and love. If there is a moment when everything changes, this would be it.

It’s been 10 days since that moment and my clearest memory is of love. My baby screaming was the most powerful of sounds, and the embrace of my partner at that moment like nothing else. Everything shifted; It’s not that I am a new person, but the experience and delivery and my son have naturally a huge impact on who I am.

Everything shifted; It’s not that I am a new person, but the experience and delivery and my son have naturally a huge impact on who I am.

We were in love with the baby the moment we knew of their existence. We embraced all that came with pregnancy and were ready for the little one to make their arrival. It wasn’t a sudden shock that he was here as he has been with us for the last 10 months. We were very relaxed throughout the pregnancy, going with instinct and holistic remedies rather than prenatal courses and hospital tours. We prepared in a way that was right for us.

I am still me. Everything that led up to this point still has value; I’m not loosing who I was but can embrace the new.

I am aware that being a mama is now very much at the forefront of my life, especially as we spend most of the day breastfeeding and snuggling. I already understand the feelings of isolation and the overwhelming emotions and exhaustion that come with a newborn, no matter how much support you have. My partner is fully involved, changing every diaper, skin to skin cuddling and cooking and cleaning and doing everything to take care of us. I take care of the baby, and he takes care of me. The reality is simply that he can sleep 8 hours while we feed every 40 minutes. I can wake him up of course, but at what point does that help anyone? We are embracing love and everything that comes with it. I am still me. Everything that led up to this point still has value. I am still a daughter and a sister and a friend, but I now get to say I’m a mummy too. I didn’t lose who I am, I got the privilege to add another role.